Dear Saba
it seems a long time that i haven't talked to you and i feel strange.
Saba, I'd like to feel your feeling but you don't let me know that, you think that i don't understand you, you think that i'm not eligible. Saba, why you regard yourself as a loser. It was strange, you guess my emotions toward you.you don't even ask me about it.
sometime i feel that you try to disguise yourself . sometime the words like "honey" seems artificial for me. it seems that they didn't come out of your heart. But you know, i don't like to believe all these, so i didn't believe that :)
i've always tried to guide my feelings in order to bring me freedom and comfort. sometime when you don't answer my calls, when you are sad or even angry with me, i feel sad, confused and obsessed. i know that the true love shouldn't be like that. i mean that i shouldn't be bothered from it. so i change my mind in a way that brings me bliss and peace. nothing matter, the important thing is that i love you. this feeling is what you present me and i'm so thankful to you saba. you're the one that has opened several windows for me to enjoy the sceneries. I've tried always to go beyond the superficial matters and get the concepts, relying on them.
i think that there is always a big barrier toward the genuine kind of human living. at least it's the case for me. mmm, by this i mean, sometimes my behavior or reactions has been strongly influenced by the common believes. i mean that, in some cases i feel sad because i think the true respond to the situation is sadness. i got this believes by watching movies, hearing the common believes of my culture, by reading novels and so on. but thinking more deeply, i feel that i'm only trying to be sad. the essence of all human beings is happiness. so why should i try to be sad.
in this way, nothing can annoy me.
a blissful person can present bliss to everyone.
one last thing, Amin: "take care of yourself", Saba: "I DO" , and i love your response. my dear Saba.
out of these topics, Saba, i brought my computer to downstairs. now i should buy a laptop for myself. the other news is that Bubik came upstairs, so i talked to him and we have great time with each other. i'll introduce you to him. he's a good friend. one other thing, today i kissed Bubik a lot, in every part ( Bubik has only a Big head :) ). I feel that i'm used to kissing ;)
that's all Saba
don't forget to tell me your dreams (of course the ones you want to explain)
i've forgotten to give you the chapter from Osho's book. the chapter that i've read.
Saba, tell me what is in your mind, in your heart? tell me everything.
Take care of yourself dear :)
:) thanks
-Amin-
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